


something is squeezing my skull

by Anonymous



Category: The Smiths
Genre: Angst, Im Bad At Tagging Things, M/M, Reconciliation, fluff???, i wrote this instead of my main fic oops, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28956762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: title is a song from morrissey's 'years of refusal' album.
Relationships: Johnny Marr/Morrissey
Kudos: 9
Collections: Anonymous





	something is squeezing my skull

*

Johnny pushed his way through the studio door, discarding his cigarette as he went.

“Mozza?” he called, taking the steps two at a time.

He walked through to their familiar rehearsal space, pausing for a moment.

Morrissey was sat on one of the sofas that stretched along the far wall, notebook in his lap.

He was gazing out of the window, an unreadable expression on his face. He was wrapped in a cardigan, the edges pulled tight against him.

“Moz?” Johnny repeated, walking across.

Morrissey blinked and met Johnny’s eyes then but didn’t speak.

“Are… where’s Andy and Mike?” Johnny looked around, but the studio was empty and quiet.

“I don’t want to rehearse.” Morrissey replied. “They have gone home.”

Johnny frowned lightly, confused. “What? Why, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. I just do not wish to sing.” Morrissey said shortly.

His voice was tight, closed off.

There was a long pregnant pause.

“What, ever?” Johnny said sarcastically. “Come on Moz, you always feel better when you sing-”

“Do I?” Morrissey cut back shortly.

He picked up the notebook in his lap and carelessly tossed it to one side before standing up.

Johnny watched him warily for a second.

The singers body language was tense, his jaw clenched.

Clearly, something had happened.

“Are you gonna tell me then?” he asked a minute later, watching as Morrissey walked across the studio. The singer picked up his jacket, slipping it on.

“There is nothing to tell.”

“So… you get to call the shots and I don’t even get to know why?”

“Is it that important?” Morrissey frowned. “I simply do not wish to sing, so I wont.”

“Brilliant.” Johnny said sarcastically. "Well thats a great help."

He could feel anger beginning to thrum through his veins now and he tried to keep his temper in check.

“I am not a performing seal, Johnny.” Morrissey snapped then, throwing something in his bag roughly and glancing over. “I’m not here to sing on cue.”

“I never said you were!” Johnny snapped back. “Fucking hell.”

He stepped closer to the singer. “You could at least talk to me, gimme the common decency to know whats going on?”

“Nothing.” Morrissey said shortly.

“Doesn’t look like nothing.”

“I don’t wish to talk about this-“

“Tough, because we are!” Johnny clenched his fists, his patience wearing thin now. “If this was any of us you’d be calling for our fucking heads that we were so selfish to stop rehearsals like this.”

Morrissey shook his head, jaw still clenched. “Don’t, Johnny.”

“It’s true! But you get to throw a tantrum?”

“I’m throwing a tantrum now, am I?” Morrissey parroted the words back, his eyes flashing with anger.

“Yeah, you are. Instead of talking to me so I can help you!”

“You cannot help.”

“Since fucking when? I normally can.” Johnny stepped even closer and Morrissey swallowed then.

His jaw was clenched, his eyes dark. “I don’t wish to talk to you about it. I don’t have to share every single innermost emotion with you.”

“No but you could at least have the decency to tell me why you’re fucking off home.”

“I do not wish to sing.” Morrissey’s voice was low now, dangerous. “How many more times shall I express that?”

“I wish you’d express a real reason!” Johnny shook his head.

He studied the singer, eyes narrowed.

“Is it so _difficult_ for you to understand that I do not want to sing?” Morrissey snapped. “For Christ’s sake.”

Johnny shook his head, beyond annoyed now. “D’ya know what, don’t bother yeah Moz? Go home, stick on a record and have a pity party for one. As usual.”

The words echoed loudly round the studio and Morrissey flinched, their eyes meeting.

Johnny exhaled, his heart racing with anger and adrenaline. He could see the hurt in the other mans eyes.

“As you wish.” Morrissey whispered.

He stalked across the studio and grabbed his notebook from the side, throwing it into his bag.

Johnny didn’t think he had ever seen him so pent up, so tightly wound.

“I shall call you when I have stopped my daily self deprecation and hatred to let you know if I am able to drag myself to a microphone.” he said bitterly and he stormed out the studio, the door banging against the wall.

Johnny stared after him before walking to the window quickly.

He just caught a glimpse of the singer as he disappeared round the corner, shoulders hunched.

Johnny exhaled, his heart racing.

He felt sick, uncomfortable.

They _never_ fought.

And any small misunderstanding they’d had was always cleared up within minutes. They never crossed words and certainly never shouted.

If Morrissey was having a bad day, Johnny could always pull him back from the edge with a funny story or an inviting embrace…

He’d never seen him so agitated. He kicked himself for his sarcastic words, shutting his eyes for a moment.Why on why did he have to flip his lid like that?

Johnny turned and walked across the empty studio, picking up his guitar.

He turned his mind to the only thing that could distract him and he began to play on his own, moving effortlessly through their setlist.

Although the music soothed him he felt sick, a nagging worry in his stomach about Morrissey and his state of mind.

Eventually he couldn’t stand it anymore and he threw his Telecaster in the case, zipping it up and stowing it away before slipping out of the studio.

Johnny was determined how matter how far the singer pushed him away, this was going to get resolved.

*

**Author's Note:**

> i'm avoiding all responsibilities of my main fic by writing this..... enjoy!


End file.
